Well, well, well.....
It appears thagt I'm full of shit these days, espeically when people do not want to confront the past.
For those who are interested, my mother (who was in hospital paralysed down one side) is actually home and nobody thought it would be an idea to let others know this was happening...and when Krsytie decided to mention this I am then blamed for being someone who is uncaring and only contacting when I want something.
Yeah...when I want something.
You know perhaps they have a point. I mean the last time I contacted mom was to let her know I needed heart surgery (I just wanted to know that she cared, like a parent would, yes?) and the time before that when I contacted her was when I got enagaged (you know, I wanted her to be there to share in what I still consider to be the best day of my life). The last time mom contacted me? Well, that would have been a phone call asking about PayPal about a business I have not done associated with for years. Granted there was a phone call when Gypsy died, but pretty much every time family call it is that they want something (my brother is a prime example, only time he has ever contacted me was to get an approximate value for some retro/geeky item he found...the last time was about old British coins, the time before that was trying to recognise what was possibly a Generaton 1 TransFormer toy). Yet I let my family know the big things going on in my life and I'm the one wanting something....ok, maybe I did, I wanted to show I'd got somewhere at long last and all I wanted to show was that I was finally happy now I'd got away from Mel and basically all the misery (I honestly think that being in the South was a potential issue)....I mean look at me, I'm married, I have a family that I love and adore and also love me...and since I've moved to the north there has been so much more help with my health, and I generally feel much better about myself and I've been able to be myself....something I could never do when I lived down South...especially when I was with Mel.
But then I get asked what exactly was I doing the few years before I mjoved....well, I was at mom's every week (health permitting) making sure things were ok, and helped whereever I could, when my brothers were out of the county....so yeah sure I may not have been around for the last 5 years, but I was around, and did all I could when I was able...if I was able.....but of course that means absolutely Jack shit does it?
Especially when you think that I was helping someone who didn't help me when I needed it the most. You know, the times when my father abused me....hey mom, remember that? Huh? You did fuck all to help me, you know it was happening (and don't come out with any shit that you were unaware because that would make you a fucking liar...you may well not know all of the occaisions, but you knew about some....and if you knew about one you should have done something...but despite that you still had kids with him and still lived with that abusive piece of shit) and did nothing....you didn't, and Gran knew and she did fuck all either.
So now, my mom is never going to contact me or my family ever again. This is good...this is very good. I have a nice clean cut, and life carries on. I'd say I'll lose some sleep...but if I'm honest that is an absolute lie, if anything I'm relieved and it means I have one less issue to worry about.
So yeah...see ya, I'm not missing you.
